We spent 4th of July in Texas at my parent’s house. My hometown is small and there aren’t a lot of choices when it comes to grabbing a bite to eat. Throw in a kid with a very limited diet and it makes choosing where to have dinner even more difficult.
My dad is not a big fan of Chili’s, but he knows it’s one of Jackson’s favorite places. Does Jackson get baby back ribs or some other Chili’s speciality? No. He gets the cheese pizza off the kid’s menu and a Dr Pepper. Every. Single. Time.
To my surprise my dad pulled into Chili’s on the first night of our visit. I was a little nervous considering the last time we had tried to eat at my hometown Chili’s they were out of pizzas. We left because Jackson wouldn’t eat anything else on the menu.
Apparently the Stephenville Chili’s never has cheese pizza and that caused a bit of a crisis.
Jackson had his mind set on cheese pizza and no amount of offering chicken strips or ice-cream for dessert was taking his mind off his favorite menu item. He became agitated and John had to take him outside to try and calm down.
Something as simple as a cheese pizza can send him spiraling out of control.
His little brain can’t always comprehend sudden change.
Moments like this are pretty common in our world; but if I’m being honest, when it happens in front of my parents it makes my anxiety sky rocket. I don’t always handle the situation as well as I do when I don’t have an audience. That night at Chili’s I just wanted to fix the behavior, but the truth was my son was struggling to understand why he couldn’t have his beloved cheese pizza.
I walked outside because I could see John was having a hard time getting Jackson to calm down. I could also see John was growing frustrated.
After explaining multiple times that Chili’s had chicken tenders (which he likes), promising Dairy Queen ice-cream for dessert and trying to get him to take some deep breaths, we returned to the table.
John didn’t order anything to eat. The cheese pizza crisis left him without an appetite.
I could tell John was feeling all. the. things and all I could do was give him a sympathetic smile.
Why is it we can go months without a meltdown over something so simple, yet it happens on the first night of our visit home?
Jackson calmed down, ordered chicken tenders and played Tic-Tac-Toe with his Lolli.
As we left Chili’s and headed to Dairy Queen for ice cream I realized something…
In the past, a moment like this would have brought shame and feelings of judgment. On that particular night I thought to myself, “It is what it is – this is what life is like with a child who might have Autism Spectrum Disorder. We fall apart over things like cheese pizza!”
Yes, Jackson had a really hard time over the cheese pizza, but a few good things came out of the meal.
Jackson ordered and ate every bite of his chicken tenders. He now has two go-to items on the Chili’s menu. Next time they are out of cheese pizza (which will probably be the case if we return to the Stephenville location) he can order chicken tenders and everything will be okay!
Once Jackson calmed down (which was pretty fast), he played games with his Lolli, chatted with all of us and didn’t ask for screen time once during our meal. Talk about a huge win!
And isn’t that what special needs parenting is all about – finding the bright spots in the midst of hard moments?