I’ve felt sad this week.
It seems I’m constantly reminded of what I thought life with a three-year-old would be like.
I thought we’d be signing Jackson up for T-Ball.
I thought he’d get to go to Vacation Bible School.
I thought he’d be potty trained by now.
I thought we’d be packing for Disney World.
I thought play dates would be something to look forward to.
I’ve felt alone this week.
Unless you’ve had a child with special needs; it’s hard to comprehend the daily struggles.
From the outside everything looks just fine.
You might think that little tantrum was just a typical three-year-old fit.
You might think he just needs a spanking.
You tell me I need to relax.
You say He’s so smart. He’s so good. He’s so cute. over and over again.
Yes, he’s all of those things – but please stop undermining just how hard this journey is.
I’m desperate for someone to understand.
Apraxia has taken more than my son’s voice.
It’s dashed some of our hopes and dreams.
It robs us of normal. It leaves us feeling alone. It makes us question if we’re getting anything right at all.
I share all of this, not so that you’ll feel sorry for me; but because somewhere, there is someone sitting at their kitchen table crying, just like me.
There is someone who desperately wants someone to say I understand how hard it is.
On Monday I received an email from a blog reader whose nephew was just diagnosed with Apraxia. She wrote: I shared your blog with my sister and her family and it literally brought us all to tears. She is not dealing well with her child’s diagnosis and I think your blog can help her know it will be okay, truly an inspiration.
I was having a difficult day when I checked my inbox. I was feeling sad and alone; but through her words, God reminded me of the reason I come to this space and share my heart. I write about the good, the bad, and the ugly of this journey because others need to know they aren’t alone on theirs.
And what God’s been teaching me this week, is that others may not get it completely; but He does.
He understands the heartache of dashed dreams.
He understands the feelings of loneliness.
He understands the doubts and insecurities.
Because God cares, cares right down to the last detail. (James 5:11 MSG)
***Today I’m linking up for Three Word Wednesday. You can join the fun here.***
This is so it … To a T…
The parental grief and sense of loss has been one of the hardest things for me to cope with and it’s the one thing no therapist tells you about….
Krystal – that’s why I’m so thankful we have each other. We get it! 🙂
Journeys, such as this, are most difficult. You are brave to share your story. To bring it out in the open. To help others. May God continue to bless your little guy as you share about his growth. May He bless your family as He reveals His purposes even in this difficulty. Thank you for I needed to read this post today!
Thank you so much for your kind words Joanne! It is my hope that by sharing our story we will encourage others and make their journey a little easier.
This post stopped me in my tracks. Thank you for putting your heart into words. Thank you for your raw and real honesty – that sort of honesty is what saves peoples lives, reminds that we are not alone in anything we are going through. An amazing post.
Tracey – Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I was hesitant to hit publish on today’s post. It’s not easy being transparent, but it’s SO needed. There are so many people struggling, trying to pretend everything is okay. We don’t have to live that way. We can be real and honest and raw. When we are, we grow. We help others. Thanks so much for stopping by today!
Keeping sharing, friend. God’s doing a lasting work through you and your words. I don’t know about apraxia, but I do know about disappointment and unmet expectations. God is so good to use it ALL, every last detail in our lives, for good. That continues to amaze me. And that translation of that verse from James? That’s perfect. Love you!
Thank you for always being such an encouragement Kristin! I am so blessed to call you friend! Don’t you just love that translation? I tell you, the Message rocks my world! Love ya!
I understand. I know where you are coming from. You are so right, our dreams have to die and it is hard. I so appreciate you sharing and being honest. You have no idea who you have touched today. My children have different special needs, but the journey is the same. I have a dear friend who is going through a similar journey. I’m sharing this on my facebook page for her. Blessings!
Thank you so much! I pray my words encourage your friend and she knows she’s not alone! Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog and encouraging me today!
I could not agree more! My daughter (5) has Autism, and we are dealing with a severe ADHD diagnosis for my son (3), both were adopted as well. This post is the story of my life and the cry of my heart. We have lost MANY friends because they simply don’t understand that even the normal childhood activities are too difficult for us to handle. God has been my rock and my stronghold, and it’s amazing how when all is stripped away, He’s there, and you learn what really matters in life. Many blessings to you on your journey!
Sarah – I so get this “We have lost MANY friends because they simply don’t understand that even the normal childhood activities are too difficult for us to handle.”
Thank you for stopping by my blog today and taking the time to comment. Thinking of you! So glad God never let’s go!
I’m so glad I’m FINALLY catching up on my reading. This post is such a gentle reminder that I am not alone in the hard days. Thank you so much!!!! Your voice is important and needed!
Thank you so much Ashley! I’m so glad you were encouraged by this post! And no, you are never alone on the hard days! I’m always an email or FB message away 🙂