Embracing the Journey

Thursday I was greeted by these words as I sat down to spend time with God while Jackson napped.

I have chosen to use weak ones like you to accomplish my purposes.

When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you to fully handle them.

Pretty encouraging words to read on Apraxia Awareness Day. A wonderful reminder from my Heavenly Father shortly after Jackson’s occupational therapy evaluation where we learned it’s most likely he has Sensory Processing Disorder. Although an Occupational Therapist can’t give the official diagnosis.

Wednesday I shared about the joy and pain of having a child with special needs.

I’ve known for a while that Jackson is a sensory seeking kid. He doesn’t stop. He has no fear. He takes forever to fall asleep at night. He’s rough. He literally doesn’t know his own strength.

I could look at this new diagnosis as a burden, or I could look at it as a blessing. 

I choose to see it as a blessing because now I better understand my son and can find ways to help him.

I choose to see it as a blessing because it’s another thing that pushes me closer to Jesus.

This journey that we’re on is a gift.

I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s anger did his best to get me down, what he in fact did was push me to my knees…at first I didn’t think of it as a gift and begged God to remove it…but He said: My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen, I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. (2nd Corinthians 12:7-10 MSG)

On Apraxia Awareness Day I came across a blog from another mother who’s son is facing a journey very similar to Jackson’s. I’ve written her words. I’ve thought her words. I wanted to share this post with the world because she could have been me and I could have been her.

So perhaps this “suffering” is a part of our story that we’re not supposed to pray away. Perhaps, instead, it’s the part of our story that truly reveals the character of a God who loves imperfect people perfectly. (Hope for Jude)

We are all imperfect; but it’s in our imperfections that God’s glory is revealed. 

In my infertility.

In our adoption story.

In the midst of motherhood mistakes.

In our Apraxia journey.

God uses it all.

And what humbles me the most, is that He doesn’t need me; yet he chose me to be Jackson’s mama. He entrusted me with this story.

One I will embrace and not pray away.

 

***I have to say a BIG thank you to all the people who wore blue and supported #TeamJackson last Thursday! It was such an amazing day and I really believe much awareness was raised for Childhood Apraxia of Speech! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!