I yearn to be the best mother I can be to Jackson. I want to teach him about Jesus and show him what it means to have a relationship with Him. I have a very strong-willed little boy and that can make a mama crazy. I’m constantly asking God to guide me on this parenting journey.
When I came across a book about parenting with grace and lavishing your kids with the love of Jesus, it sounded like just the book I needed to read. But instead of being filled with hope, I was left discouraged. Don’t get me wrong, God taught me something as I read, but it was a lesson meant more for my heart than for my role as mama.
“At the deepest level of what we do as parents, we should hear the heartbeat of a loving, grace-filled Father who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not the message that your children hear from you, if the message that you send the on a daily basis is about being good so that you won’t be disappointed, then the gospel needs to transform your parenting, too.” (Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus)
What God taught me through the few pages I actually read was that I haven’t truly grasped the gospel of grace.
My life is still about rules, checking off items on my to-do list, and pleasing people.
There are many days of motherhood when dazzling would be the last word on earth I’d use to describe myself.
I can’t lavish grace upon Jackson when I don’t soak up the grace God has so freely given me. I can’t dazzle him with the love of Jesus when I doubt my Savior could really love the mess that is me.
I didn’t find much hope within the pages of Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus. The dialogue they suggest parents have with their children seemed a little far-fetched and unachievable (especially for a mama and her strong-willed toddler). I struggled through the first few chapters and felt guilty for not finishing the book.
My blogging friend and fellow adoptive mama, Kristin, had some great advice for me: I haven’t read it, but if it’s making you feel bad/guilty, don’t read it anymore. There’s not enough time in life or with our kids to mess around with feeling like that.
She has a point.
I could read every parenting book ever written, but the truth is, if I’m not reading His book, if I’m not on my knees in prayer, I’ll never be the mother Jesus desires me to be.
Thankfully His book is filled with the hope I need for the difficult days of motherhood.
Be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus….for The Lord will give you understanding in everything. (2 Timothy 2:1&7 )
** Today I’m linking up for Coffee for the Heart here, for Three Word Wednesday here, and for Tell His Story.
LOVE your “being real” honesty. I agree with your friend, put the book down. I remember years ago I was reading a book and the woman was sharing about her son who was living a homosexual lifestyle. The rotten devil played with my head over that (at the time with two young sons) – but I heard Spirit say, “don’t read this book – not another page.” I obeyed. Great post and by the way I am visiting from Jennifer Lee Duke’s place this morning.
Susan – Thanks so much for stopping by today and for your encouraging words! I think we must always remember that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. That sneaky devil wants to trick us…..
How convicting! But I needed to hear this! I struggle daily in this area. I will check this book out! Visiting from #ThreeWordWednesday
Jennifer – I’m so glad you were encouraged! Hang in there! Good thing Jesus isn’t finished with any of us and has promised to finish the good work that He’s started in us!
Excellent grasp of God’s grace and knowing when it’s healthiest to stop reading and let it go. I appreciate the fact that you were still able to glean knowledge and understanding of God’s grace through the book.
Lori – Me, too! I love how God works.
Jennifer, I so get the struggle with grace! I too am a check-list mama and it has really gotten in the way. I spent the first half of this year working through how to receive grace (check out my blog series on it here:http://www.stephaniehaynes.net/category/messy-attempts-at-courageous-faith/embracing-grace/ and have seen a tremendous difference after having been able to learn how to receive it. hang in there! Ask God to show you what grace is and how to receive it! OH, and I also read Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman…LIFE-Changing!
Stephanie – I will have to check out your blog series. I have read Emily Freeman’s book, but it was several years ago. Maybe I need to go back and read it again 🙂
I love hearing the rest of what God did in your heart after you struggled through those early chapters.
And this: I can’t lavish grace upon Jackson when I don’t soak up the grace God has so freely given me. I can’t dazzle him with the love of Jesus when I doubt my Savior could really love the mess that is me. —-> Yes, yes, yes. I’ve been right there with you many, many times. It’s a process, but I’m so grateful God continues to pour out his love and grace, even when I don’t always get it.
Much love to you, sweet friend.
Thanks for always encouraging me, Kristin! Glad we can do this motherhood thing together as online (hopefully someday) real-life friends!
This is a wonderful post. Motherhood is the most responsibility we will ever be trusted with. And it’s a gift! The best thing we can do for our children is to seek God with everything in us. Great encouragement!
Thank you! So glad you were encouraged!
Jennifer, this was needed encouragement so know you are reaching those even without young kids in the home anymore. Because in any area of our life if we are not “grasping His grace” it’s unlikely we are extending His grace to others. And the same for love. And this is where I probably struggle most. May my unbelief lead me to seek Him with all my heart.
Much love to you, friend.
xoxo
I totally agree with everything you say Beth!
Hugs!
I appreciate your honesty. I recently picked up a book again that I’d put down several years ago because I was getting nothing out of it. Now? It’s greatly ministering to me. The words you were reading in your book were perhaps not meant for this season. Maybe you can try them again later, or maybe not. Regardless, it sounds like you learned some valuable truths from it (even if indirectly) to carry into your parenting journey. That’s grace.
Lisa – So true! I could see possibly applying some of what I read when my son is older, just not during these strong-willed toddler years 🙂 Thanks for stopping by my blog!
“but the truth is, if I’m not reading His book, if I’m not on my knees in prayer, I’ll never be the mother Jesus desires me to be.” So well said! I actually am not a fan of most parenting books and feel they put us as mothers and our children into a box. My daughter has ASD and sometimes those books remind me of unfilled dreams or terrify me of what’s to come. I prefer to seek the Lord’s wisdom and to have Him guide our paths. It was a blessing to find you through Holley Gerth’s link-up! I’m a new follower now!! I would be honored if you would share your heart at the Saturday Soiree Blog Party at http://faithalongtheway.com!
Sarah Ann – Thank you so much for stopping by and for inviting me to participate in the blog party! I would love to! 🙂
I love this “My daughter has ASD and sometimes those books remind me of unfilled dreams or terrify me of what’s to come.” I can SO relate! Glad to connect with another adoptive mama trying to raise her babies to love Jesus!
I love having friendship like that where we can be truth for each other! You are right, the most important book is God’s, and we get sucked into thinking we need others. I needed this reminder!
I have read books like that too… Put them down–I agree. 🙂
About 4 years ago, I started praying that I could love others out of the overflow of what I’ve been given instead of out of duty and my own drained spirit…Since then I’ve been on a lifechanging journey. I’ve truly met GRACE face to face like never before. I pray you feel yourself loving that boy of yours out of the overflow of grace you have in Christ.
Thanks for being real today 🙂