Today kicks off a special series called The Messy & Majestic of Motherhood. Each Monday in May, I will feature guest posts by some amazing writers and mamas. Some are adoptive mamas, some are bio moms, but they are moms and they are real. Their words will encourage you. Leave your comments below and you’ll be entered to win a Mother’s Day prize pack. A winner will be chosen after the series is complete. I hope the posts in this series encourage you and bring you hope as we celebrate motherhood in May!
She sat across the table from me.
It was a safe place for her to admit her fears. Fears I had once shared.
“Open adoptions scare me,” she said.
She had sent me a message on Facebook asking if we had an open adoption with Jackson’s birth mother. I asked her to meet me for lunch. There are just some conversations that are better in person.
I wanted her to know that having a relationship with a birth mother can be a blessing. I didn’t want her to be afraid. I wanted her to know how God had taken away my fears about open adoption.
So I shared our story.
When John and I first decided to adopt, we were terrified of domestic adoption. We had heard horror stories of birth mothers coming back and taking their children from the adoptive family. We were selfish and didn’t want to share our baby.
We were totally uneducated about domestic adoption.
As we pursued an adoption from Ethiopia I met her.
A young, pregnant girl living in a homeless shelter. She was desperate to find a family for her baby.
I talked to her every day.
She shared her fears and dreams with me.
I shared my heart with her.
I sat beside her, her hand in mine, as the image of a baby boy popped onto the screen.
That’s when the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart.
“This is about more than you becoming a mother. You have a chance to be my hands and feet to this girl. She has nobody else.”
Warm tears slid down my cheeks.
My eyes were opened to the eternal impact relationships between birth mothers and adoptive families can have.
I am thankful for the relationship I had with Jackson’s birthmother during the months leading up to his birth.
I am thankful for the relationship we still have.
I have stories to share with Jackson when he’s old enough.
There is a photo of the two of us framed in his room.
I can tell him, without hesitation, that he has her lips.
In December, a package came in the mail addressed to Jackson. It was from her. She had sent a birthday present. I fought back tears.
I cherish these moments. A birthday gift. A phone call. A card with words written from her heart.
They are all pieces of his story.
I can’t imagine not having them.
The Lord can use adoptive families to show the love of Jesus to frightened lonely birth moms. They are very courageous women who place their special gifts from God into the hands of a couple waiting to become a family. I never knew my son’s birth mom, but I thank God for her every day. She choose life for this child and for that I am eternally grateful. I can’t imagine my family without him. I believe the church need to reach out to single moms and share the hope of the gospel with them. They need all the love and support we can give them.
Barbara – I couldn’t agree more! The church definitely needs to embrace single moms and young, pregnant women. They need to share the love of Jesus and fill them with hope! I have seen the opposite too many times and that isn’t what Jesus would want.
Thanks for stopping by the blog today! I hope you have a blessed week!
Open adoptions can be scary, I totally get that. But, like you, I love that I can tell me kids about these brave women who gave them life and gave us a family. You’re brave to open your heart to Jackson’s birth mom and tell others about your story. I’m glad we have an adoption bond and I’m blessed by the friendship God has created online between us.
I’m excited about reading this series and honored to be part of it. Thanks for hosting it!
(Obviously, don’t enter me in the contest – I just wanted to comment anyway!)
Kristin – I am so thankful to know all that I do about Jackson’s birth mom. I can’t imagine not knowing and not being able to tell him about her when he’s older.
Super blessed by our new friendship and glad you’re a part of this fun series! 🙂
This is beautiful. (Also not commenting for contest reasons!)
Thanks Jamie! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this. I am a birth mom who placed just a few weeks ago. More people need to know that open adoption is a choice that allows for all people to stay alive, grow and be loved by many people and tons of family members. Thank you for encouraging me..your words touched my heart.
Katy – Your words are such an encouragement to me. Thank you for stopping by. I am so glad you were encouraged. I believe you can be a voice to help others see that open adoption can be a beautiful thing. I pray you feel His love and peace as you continue down the road of open adoption.