Being Who God Created Me to Be

Yesterday I read these words from Angie Smith’s “Mended” and they struck somewhere deep inside. I could relate a little too much.

“When I get to heaven, God will not ask me ‘Why weren’t you Moses?’ He will ask, ‘Why were you not Jennifer?”

“Churches should be places where people come to hear the story of God and to tell their own. That’s how we find out how the two relate. Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own. They want a leader who is authentic, someone trying to figure out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life. They need you, not Moses.”

To often I compare myself to others, beating myself up when I don’t feel like I measure up – my faith isn’t as strong, she’s a better mother, there marriage is picture perfect.

What’s wrong with me that my blog isn’t growing like so-and-so?

How does she do it? She works full-time, she has a great marriage, and her kid is still alive?

Some days I can barely keep up with Jackson, let alone post a blog or get my house clean. Then there’s the whole wife thing. The Lord knows this year has been super stressful on my marriage. I am definitely no June Cleaver.

Guild plagues me. The enemy whispers I’m not enough.

But God just wants me to be Jennifer and seek Him for what that looks like.

During this season of my life, many times being Jennifer simply means being Jackson’s mommy. Changing diapers, feeding him, wiping a snotty nose and chasing him ALL. DAY. LONG. Being a mommy is a 24/7 job that keeps me on my toes.

My mom told me the other day that Jackson is a great baby, but the only job harder than keeping up with him all day would have to be digging ditches. 🙂

I tend to think being a mommy full-time isn’t enough. The world says it isn’t. The world says I should be bringing home a pay check, making a name for myself. But in God’s eyes, being Jackson’s mommy is the most important job I could have right now.

This year I have to focus on being Jennifer, not anyone else.

It’s okay that I don’t wear makeup more days than I do.

That I don’t blog every. single. day.

That there’s dishes in the sink and laundry piled in the chair (something that never would have happened before I became a mom)

Do you ever compare yourself to others? Do you feel like you are less than they are in God’s eyes?

God has not called you to be Moses, or your best friend, or your mother….he has called you to be YOU because “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)