Why Did I Wait So Long?

I just got back from doing something I hate to do – actually I’m terrified of doing. Having blood work done. Actually, I hate anything related to doctors or needles. This fear has plagued me since childhood, when I would get myself so worked up before doctors appointments that my mom would have to lie to me and say there would be no shots involved!

You’d think I was 5-years-old instead of 30. I still get knots in my stomach and there has been more than one occasion where tears were involved. Thankfully, today I had the cutest 10-month-old distraction 🙂 so I made it through the needle prick just fine. But I have a lovely little bruise to prove I had a needle stuck in my arm.

Since I last updated about my PCOS journey, I have been to see a counselor (why did I wait so long to do this?) and I have seen my doctor to discuss tackling my hormone issues. I have not walked/exercised near enough and I am back to guzzling Dr Pepper (Hi, my name is Jennifer and I am a Dr Pepperaholic….)

But back to seeing the counselor. Holy Guacamole! I felt like we made so much progress during my first session. It felt so good to purge and share all the stuff that has been shoved inside me for so long.

When I was first diagnosed with PCOS, I didn’t take it seriously (I might have been in a bit of denial and completely overwhelmed) and many of the people closest to me didn’t take it seriously. It wasn’t long after my diagnosis that we found out we would adopt Jackson – so PCOS and all the emotions that go along with it were put on the back burner.

The counselor pointed out that I have experienced a lot of loss and pain in the last few years – inability to have children, my body playing cruel tricks on me, feeling blah from the side effects of PCOS, loved ones inability to understand/support our decision to adopt…..(I never really considered how much loss was actually associated with all that I have gone through…it makes sense!)

Needless to say, I am looking forward to my second session this Saturday!

I also went to my doctor and told her I was tired of feeling yucky and we HAD to get a grip on my jacked up hormones! I thought she’d just put me back on birth control and glucophage, but she said birth control isn’t the answer for me. So we are back to square one – doing blood work to check all my hormone levels and then we will come up with a plan of action. I am ready!

So there you have it….one step at a time towards getting this PCOS business under control!