The Samaritan woman was me.
Despite being a Christian, I spent years trying to fill the spaces in my heart that only Jesus could fill, with the so-called love of a man.
Renee says, “Sam had searched for years to find acceptance, love, and approval in the heart of a man.”
Reading that sentence made me cringe a bit – it 100% described me before I met John.
Then one day I had an encounter with Jesus similar to the encounter the Samaritan woman had. I didn’t meet Jesus at a well or offer him water, but I did finally surrender my heart and all the crevices that only He could fill.
In January of 2007 I prayed a drastic prayer, begging God to help me – and He did. At that moment, the two VERY unhealthy relationships I had been going back and forth between for years were severed. My desire to be around both men was gone. No more phone calls, no more dates, no more slow, painful, self-inflicted wounds to my heart. I prayed and God answered. He took my heart back.
I share all this with you because Chapter 2 of “A Confident Heart” is called “Because God’s Love Is Perfect, I Don’t Have to Be.” It’s about letting God’s love cover us. It’s about being unafraid to be real with others – even God himself.
I always try to be transparent on my blog, but today I decided to share a part of me that I am not proud of. A part of me that I struggle with. A past that still causes me pain. Guilt still plagues me when it comes to the choices I made. My quest for love in the arms of all the wrong men has caused hiccups in my marriage. And that’s kind of an embarrassing thing to admit – even to God.
But the truth is He loves me. I find so much hope in the story of the Samaritan women. Jesus knew she needed Him. He went to her. He loved her JUST. THE. WAY. SHE. WAS.
“By offering Sam eternal life, Jesus was offering her the gift of the Holy Spirit, who would cleanse her sins. But even more than that, it would lead her into a relationship where she could know the one true God and be known by Him.”
I’m encouraged by something that Renee shares. She writes, “But if we only live on the surface with God, we’ll never experience the intimacy we long for or the acceptance and security He offers….let’s go beneath the surface with Jesus so He can show us places in our hearts that need His repair.”
There are still places in my heart that need repair – scars that need the touch of my Savior. I am thankful that Jesus offers a love that casts out all fear. That He will meet me in the places I need him to. That like the Samaritan woman, he love me exactly where I’m at.
And that maybe, just maybe, this blog post is a step towards complete healing.
Do you have places in your heart that need healing? Ask Jesus to meet you there and show you things in your heart that need His repair. Isn’t it a great feeling to know that you don’t have to pretend things are fine when they aren’t?
I love this post (although I say that a lot about your writings). I completely get you on this subject. I, too, spent many years looking for a man to “complete me” and make me happy. I have known it was an issue for a long time, but it was in recent months that the light bulb came on for me. I also prayed for God to do something huge in me. I wanted HIM to fill me up…HIM to complete me and make me happy. He was faithful. He is still teaching me every day and it is definitely a learning process. But…something is way different now that is was. And…I’ve become quite passionate and head strong about sustaining that feeling and reality of Him being my number 1. Thank you so much for sharing this today! I can’t wait to share it with others. I know all too many women who go through this exact same thing…finding their self worth in men and not in Him. I pray that through our transparency that other women will find comfort and realize He DOES love us right where we are…and we can overcome this idea of finding ourselves in a man…and finding ourselves in the one true Man, Jesus! <3
Love your transparency in this post! You are doing a great job. I am excited to see how God heals and repairs and works in you.