We decided we’d give him his ADHD medication after breakfast on Saturday morning. We were still trying to get a feel for the new meds, but giving them at at night had posed a huge problem – major sleep issues.
For three weeks he had only slept through the night twice. Most nights he was wide awake at 3 a.m., ready to start the day. There were a few nights it was midnight when I heard him call out my name. We were exhausted and defeated.
Saturday morning we gave him his medicine after breakfast – it made him sick.
Sunday we didn’t give him anything and I left a message with his developmental pediatrician.
It’s back to the drawing board.
Trying to find the right ADHD medication takes a lot of time, patience, trial and error.
Without ADHD medication, my son cannot function at his best.
He can’t sit still.
His energy is off the charts.
His moods change like the wind.
He can’t focus on school work.
His executive functioning skills are a big mess.
Each day I realize ADHD is a beast with many complex and undiscovered layers.
I’ve spent so many years focused on my son’s Apraxia diagnoses. When he couldn’t talk, I was determined to help him find his voice. I read articles, joined support groups. I wanted to raise awareness about the neurological disorder that robbed Jackson of his voice.
For the longest time we thought his challenging behaviors were due to his inability to communicate. I knew his frustration was off the charts. When children can’t speak, it’s not uncommon for them to grab, pinch, bite or hit to get their point across.
When Jackson got his ADHD diagnosis in PreK it answered a lot of questions. No wonder he had so much energy. No wonder he had a hard time focusing. He had the new diagnosis, but I was so busy trying to help him find his voice that I didn’t dive deeper into ADHD and how it was effecting everything my kid did.
Now that Jackson’s found his voice, I’m taking the time I should have several years ago to dive deeper into the world of ADHD.
The book Mindful Parenting for ADHD by Mark Bertin, MD is opening my eyes to the world my son lives in – a world full of struggles and hard, hard stuff.
ADHD is a developmental disorder of executive functioning skills. I read somewhere recently that a child Jackson’s age (almost 7) is really more like a four-year-old when you take into consideration their executive functioning skills.
No wonder he was a basket case in public school. The odds were completely stacked against him.
The author of the books says: Addressing ADHD requires perseverance, flexibility, responsiveness, and an ability to find moments of joy and success during challenging times.
Yes, Yes, Yes!
Please don’t ever tell me ADHD isn’t real.
Please don’t ever tell me my kid just needs more discipline.
ADHD is very real.
Come spend a day at my house and I guarantee I’ll make a believer out of you.
ADHD doesn’t just effect the child, it effects the entire family.
It’s stressful, it’s exhausting and it’s beyond frustrating.
And did I mention it’s isolating?
Or that many parents feel shame and judgement from others who give off the vibe that we just don’t know how to parent our children.
Parenting a child with ADHD is hard work, but they’re depending on us to keep our crap together.
But keeping your crap together is also hard work (ask me how I know).
See, aren’t you exhausted just reading that?
ADHD parenting is a vicious, never-ending cycle.
Dr. Bertin writes: Children’s well-being and resilience depends on adults emphasizing their strengths.
A few of Jackson’s include an amazing imagination, a very creative mind, a wonderful sense of humor, endless amounts of energy and laser focus for the things that really matter to him.
As we wade our way through the challenges of ADHD, I pray I celebrate the positives of this disorder.
Dr. Bertin says, When parents are less stressed, more focused, more responsive, and more cognitively flexible in the face of challenges, their children clearly benefit.
He goes on to say, You need to encourage appropriate behavior and hard work but remain aware that your child is doing his best at any given moment, even when ADHD gets in the way.
Reading this book is giving me the tools I need to be the best ADHD Mom.
My son deserves to thrive while living with ADHD, just as much as he deserved to find his voice.
It’s my job to help him do it!
Dear Jennifer,
I love how you love your baby with such a fierce sweet love. I am praying for you through this journey and for Jackson that he will thrive and be the best that God purposed him to be! and I know you know but just have to say it God love you and sees how you love this sweet boy and God loves Jackson ! You both are God’s delight ever so dear to Him.