Today I have already made several really good decisions.
1. I walked 2 miles pushing Jackson in his stroller.
2. I ordered a medium Dr Pepper at Sonic instead of a large.
3. I decided to finally face something head on and blog about it each week as part of a healing process.
You see, there’s more to my story than just infertility and adoption. Two years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome – and it has wreaked havoc on my life.
I’ve gained 20 pounds, I stopped having periods, I began to have acne as if I were a teenager going through puberty, I began feeling really down, and my sex drive tanked. I mean, NON-EXISTENT! (That’s not really good for a marriage)
The day I was diagnosed I went home, climbed in bed, and pulled the covers over my head. I’ve kind of been living with the covers over my head ever since – ignoring the side effects that plague me and the toll they are taking on me physically and emotionally.
I haven’t exactly ignored things on purpose. My doctor didn’t really acknowledge the diagnoses as much as she probably should have. She was focused on getting me pregnant. She wanted to give me what I desired so much – a baby. But when she told me I would in all likelihood have to take fertility drugs to become pregnant, I checked out.
John and I were buried in adoption paperwork and later we became distracted by the Jackson’s adoption. Jackson was born and for the past (almost) nine months I have been in major mommy mode. But the fact remains – PCOS is taking a toll on me. I am not myself. The best way that I know to describe it is that I feel “blah” – physically and emotionally and I am SICK. OF. IT.
A fellow SheSpeaks graduate, Marni, also lives with PCOS and has been bold enough to start blogging about it. She has encouraged me SO much. She has let me ask questions and has provided great information. Together, we hope to not only heal from PCOS, but encourage others struggling with it, while educating people about the medical condition.
My life is about to change – and the hardest part is I’m going to have to end my love affair with Dr Pepper. (sigh…) Dr Pepper and PCOS just don’t mix.
I have several goals as I face PCOS head on.
1. Find a new doctor who will help me! My hormones are jacked up!
2. Work out, eat better, drink less (and eventually no) Dr Pepper (big sigh…)
3. Consider seeing a counselor – really, folks….this diagnoses has been hard!
I plan to blog each week about this new journey. I would appreciate your prayers. They are much needed!
P.S. I just made another good choice – salad for lunch! 🙂
My sister has PCOS. After many miscarriages, she did finally conceive without fertility drugs. I do believe it was God. Anyhow, I struggle with a different disease that has similar side effects. I’m glad you are blogging the rest of your story. I look forward to reading all about it.
similar side effects minus fertility issues. 🙂
Thank you for the encouragement Jamie! I, too, believe your nephew was a gift from God! 🙂
I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who struggles with PCOS and hormone-type issues….
Jenn!!! You are such an amazing woman! I love your transparency and ability to be open with even the hard stuff…we share that. I truly understand what you said and how you feel when I was reading this. That’s why I started my blog and I don’t even like to write. 🙂 It’s crazy how we as humans struggle with so much and choose not to talk about it or share it when there are SO many others in our same boat. I had someone text me after my 3rd day of writing saying they were encouraged by my words and struggles and ability to be honest. Give it all you’ve got girl. This journey is going to be fun…not easy…but fun. There will be ups and down, just like with anything else in life. But…I’m excited for you! Love you!
Thanks Jennifer 🙂
You’re always such a great encourager! Love ya!
Having PCOS stinks! 🙂 I’ve talked with you about this before, but it’s been a long time. I experienced a lot of those same symptoms for a years but I did go on a new medication awhile ago that really helped me. It was probably a huge contributing factor for us being able to conceive Judah after being told it could only happen with IVF.
My gynecologist was also only concerned with me getting pregnant and never told me that there was medicine that could really help me become healthier. It took my dermatologist (who I was seeing for acne) to refer me to an endocrinologist to figure out all of the effects that PCOS was having on me! I was prescribed metformin, which is actually a medicine that some diabetics also use.
You really should talk to your doctor about seeing if that would work for you because it has helped my PCOS soooo much…more regular periods, almost no acne, and helped with my metabolism. I would email you this privately, but I thought that if someone else was reading this and in our shoes it may help them too!
Thank you for being brave and sharing and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day with your sweet little boy! 🙂
Shannon –
I do remember talking with you about PCOS. Thank you for your encouragement! I am so glad God blessed you with sweet Judah! Also, thankful that you left his comment today! I will be seeking a new doctor – I am ready to feel better! 🙂
I’ve lived with PCOS all my after puberty life. I’m 58 now. I, too, had miscarriages and ended up on Clomid. After two miscarriages, I gave birth to a son 25 years ago. Most of my doctors just casually told me it was PCOS, but didn’t have any treatment to offer. I was placed on Metformin because of diabetes a couple of years after my son was born. It didn’t help me. It made it worse and I gained 200 lbs.–no matter what I ate or did.
PCOS is not easy to live with. However, I also have other conditions, too. I have fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, and atrial fib. A lot of symptoms overlap, so no doctor really knows what caused what. I have learned that I must eat smart, rest often, stay active on good days. The most important thing, though, is mental/spiritual attitude. If I wallow in my pain and inconvenience, I feel worse. If I concentrate on the good things in my life and try to give of myself to others, I feel better. Depression is the most dangerous aspect of PCOS. I learned that it is spiritual warfare and must be fought through prayer and dependence on God.
I have added you to my prayer list. We all have something difficult to conquer. God has the power when we do not have it on our own. Fight! Give of yourself and concentrate on others’ needs. Never give up! Allow yourself to have bad days. Don’t blame yourself for your condition. Use it to reach out to others. You have a ministry now.
Karen – thank you for your encouragement. I know God will use this for His glory! Glad I am finally sharing the not so pretty world of PCOS and beginning the healing process.